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Sunday, January 4, 2015


Your happiness is directly proportionate to your relationship with the World, say with yourself, your near and dear ones and neighbours and strangers in society. Unless, you know what this relationship means, happiness can not come to your way.

Dalai Lama in his book 'The Art of Happiness' says that wherever, I meet people, I always have the feeling that I am encountering another human being, just like myself.

In the long road to understanding the relationship with the world (including your near and dear ones), you must first understand the relationship with YOURSELF. Here the YOU plays a vital role in judging your happiness, especially in relationships.

In understanding the relationships, you also need to understand what is LOVE which has a wider meaning and scope than what we generally see on a TV or film.
But in this busy-life, the majority of folks don't pay enough attention for fostering relationships on consistent basis. They just go with the flow which means responding with reactive behaviour. This is called a reptilian-brain behaviour, a fight or flight response to each situation. It is purely an animal tendency to deal with the daily survival of life. We being the crown of creation should better manage our emotions and relationships. Managing emotions is a sure path for a healthy, balanced and happy life. Your relationship is the bedrock of your emotional life.

When we are talking about relationships, we must first understand the mental make-up of both man and woman as both have different brain structures. Once we know certain facts about man or woman, we can prune our relationships accordingly. The psychologists say that most women are governed by their feelings, where as men are governed by their thoughts.

The best barometer to gauge our relationships is how we behave with the strangers, either in person or over the phone. No doubt that I have to tune up my relationship with strangers as I concede that I don't properly respond with unsolicited phone calls . Even I need to have smiley-lips while I travel.

In most people's lives, friends play a crucial role. So we need to befriend with people who share the same ideology/ hobbies/mindset like ours. But as we grow in age, the friend circle depletes and it almost becomes need-based. But you need to have a handful friends with whom you relate emotionally and trust.

One of the timeless advice in fostering the lasting relationship with others is, think from other's perspective and see the things from their prism.

When it comes marital relationships, we generally see a surging trend of divorces which could be minimized to a great extent if both parties understand the relationship they want to build after marriage.

I am married 17 years ago and still our marital life is in evolving process. Here the Mark Twain's words resonate my mind: No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

When it comes to relationships within the family or outside world, one umbrella rule Dalai Lama suggests is: A relationship should be based on the qualities of affection, compassion, and mutual respect. Basing a relationship on these qualities enables us to achieve a deep and meaningful bond not only with our lover or spouse, but with friends, acquaintances, or strangers - virtually any human being. It opens up unlimited possibilities and opportunities for connection.

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